This may be one of my favorite words! self-regard: (noun) the quality of being worthy of esteem or respect. A sense of one's own dignity or worth Why is it that so many times we sacrifice our own desires, integrity, and beliefs either out of fear of the consequences or because we unconsciously question our personal worth? I have been very conscious of this theme lately, as it has come up time after time with people I work with. They are choosing to deny themselves rather th

Imagine if your relationships were not limited by the fear of conflict or creating tension. Rather, you felt confident in leaning into these conversations and were able to be truthful and transparent. Each time you avoid your truth and move away from having a conversation that makes you uncomfortable you have robbed yourself of potential and the opportunity for advancement, connection, and powerful insight. Slowly, unknowing, you will find yourself farther away from your tr

I recently introduced you (in previous post) to Kwame Christians’ three strategies in feeling more confidence in conflict. Acknowledge emotion Get curious with compassion Joint problem solving We reviewed “Acknowledging emotion” and this week we will go through the final two. If you missed last week's email either read it first or find it on my website. I hope you had an opportunity to try out your new skill! Now that you have decreased the tension and acknowledged the emot

A dear friend of mine sent me this insightful and intriguing audio blog about The Serviceberries: An Economy of Abundance, a beautiful native tree that bears fruit rich with flavors of blueberry, apple, and rose. Funny how I had never heard of this tree. Extravagant colors in the fall, beautiful white flowers in the spring, and bountiful berries late summer. The writer, Robin Wall Kimmerer, speaks so eloquently, from the perspective of a botanist, on how nature can, if we a

I am a romantic at heart, today I stumbled across a pile of love letters from years ago. As I read these beautiful notes I was struck by how these young men perceived me and how their words were in direct conflict with how I saw myself back then. If only I had believed in the strength they saw in me, how differently I would have perceived myself. Might I have had the confidence to push myself further, to have gone for the career I dreamed of but never thought I was qualifi

We have reviewed several of the Positive Intelligence saboteurs and now...The Hyperachiever is here!! I would imagine that most, if not all of you have some elements of this saboteur, it is the characteristic that fuels our achievements and helps drive success. We use this trait to facilitate growth in ourselves and others and it keeps our eye focused on our aspirations. All great things. Sometimes we use this term to pat ourselves on the back, when we go beyond the call o

The concept of Positive Intelligence is to not only become aware of our behaviors if left unattended but also to develop mental muscle to interrupt disruptive thoughts and actions and replace them with perspectives and “mental muscle” to shift our mindset from saboteur to sage. This shift is extremely powerful and has been shown to dramatically improve performance, sales, creativity, relationships, and overall happiness. Seems like a pretty decent ROI! Today we are tackling

Is being a controller serving you well? Who do you want to be and what are you prepared to do to get there? Many of you let me know that my last Weekly Wisdom on the “Stickler” brought a lot of insight and introspection. With that in mind, I am now committed to teaching you about all of the 10 saboteurs identified in Positive Intelligence: Stickler, Judge, Controller, Hyper Achiever, Hyper-vigilant, Avoider, Pleaser, Victim, Hyper-rational Once you are aware of the thoughts

In Positive Intelligence there are 10 identified “saboteurs”; these are behavioral and cognitive traits that shape the foundational structures of our thinking and interacting. While all of these traits have positive attributes that lend to our success and happiness, if left unchecked, they have the ability to hijack us resulting in negative emotion, behavior, and relationships. Most of us have a bit of all of the saboteurs within us but typically you will see two or three d

Met·a·cog·ni·tion noun: awareness and understanding of one’s own thought process.It refers to the processes used to plan, monitor, and assess one’s own understanding and performance. This is my new favorite word and something we all should do a bit more of. We have found ourselves amidst a culture in which performance is rewarded, outcomes are measured, and fast pace is expected. This leaves little room to look inward, dedicate time to reflect on our self-leadership, and cr