How is your perspective influencing your reality?
noun per·spec·tive \ pər-ˈspek-tiv \
a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; a point of view
How interesting that two people can experience the same event or interaction with a person yet come away with a completely different perception of that encounter. Why is that and how much does that influence our daily lives? Perception is just a filter that we lay over reality to shape the experience so it fits into our world. Does that make it less real? Not necessarily, but it may not be very helpful or empowering. What if we read the situation incorrectly? Think of how that may send off a ripple effect of negativity, assumptions, ideas, decisions... all built upon an untruth! Imagine if you did several of those a day... what would your life and relationships look like in 1 year?
Here is part of the problem, we live in a culture and feed into relationships that don't encourage vulnerability, clarification, conversation, or trust. We are competitive, quick thinking, defensive and suspicious. Why are they saying that? What is their motive? What does he really mean? She seemed angry. What did I do? How many times have you said those things? Instead of clarifying our perspective with that person directly we add our filter (regardless of its truth) and lay that on top of the interaction.
What if we stopped doing that? What if I challenge you to lead with positivity and openness every time you had an exchange with someone. What if you think the best of everyone you encounter? If you have a concern... ask a clarifying question! Leave that experience with the truth and not your own perspective of the truth. Now that does not mean everything will always be great, but it does mean you will be living in reality, you will not have a knot in your stomach as you run every scenario imaginable. You will not lay awake at night wondering what you missed or why things happened. From here, you can tackle the problems or relationships head on. You can put your energy into positivity.
One more thing.... let it go! I like to think that about 85% of any interaction with someone has nothing to do with you. You have no idea how their morning went, how their health is, did their child throw up this morning? Did they just get dumped by their girlfriend or boyfriend? You have no idea but you pop into their world for a minute and make judgments about them and their words in 30 seconds. That is not fair!!!! Take a deep breath, and allow others the grace and gentleness you hope to find. Ask your clarifying questions and then let it go! Don't dwell on what you know nothing about. That is not very productive. Be gently with your self, lead with integrity, honesty and love and then... let it go! Know that you did your best at that moment and then move on.