When I was 30 years old, I bought my first house. I worked multiple jobs, put myself through graduate school, packed my things, and moved West to start a new life. I was single, educated, and ready to take on the world. As you may know, your first home is memorable and signifies independence, accomplishment, and the belief that you are ready to conquer the world (at least it did for me).
The first thing that I did was paint my front door with a mantra that kept me centered and focused. It served me well.
Twenty years later, I sold the house and had to paint over the door. My wonderful realtor had an artist capture the affirmation that you see above.
Sometimes, you need to be reminded of your potential, of your grit and resilience.
It is easy to forget what fires us up, what keeps us engaged and passionate. As time goes by, we become distracted by obligations and responsibilities, finding ourselves further and further away from our dreams.
Good coaching is about asking the right questions. Seeing beyond the spoken word and listening to what is not being said. From there, ask a question that gets to the heart of the challenge. Surprisingly, I have found the hardest question to answer for many is: If you could do ANYTHING, with no restrictions, what would you do that reflects who you really are?
Most of the time this question stops people in their tracks. I am met with tears, silence, and curiosity as to why they have absolutely no idea as to how to answer that.
Why is that question so challenging?
We have lost the invitation to dream. To believe that who you are and the gifts that you give are of value and worthy of exploring. Instead, we create a life that is “good enough.” It pays the bills and brings occasional challenges and excitement, but if you are honest, it really does not fill your soul. Why are we so quick to surrender to a person or a job? Why have you allowed others to take your power and ability to dream?
Who is making you the project of their life? Who has asked or allowed you to relinquish your personhood for the good of another? Are you aware you have done that? Are you aware of the stories that have now become unspoken words, and even mantras?
Many people have found themselves so far away from what fuels them that they have forgotten the very premise of joy and the hunger for an exciting challenge.
I have found that people surrender for two reasons:
They are going through the motions, numb to the greater experience, and unconscious as to where their life has led them.
They have not allowed themselves the option to dream, since they do not believe it is possible to be both happy and successful. They believe it is one or the other, but not both.
Success and happiness are a mindset, a journey. Not a destination.
Full engagement requires intentionality.
My question to you is: Are you willing to sacrifice either success or happiness and later find out you could have had both? Would you feel regret if you learned later on that you could have both?
If the answer is “no,” then carry on.
If the answer is “yes,” choose to invest in yourself, even if you don’t know the answer as to “how” to get there.
Time and time again, I have encountered people who become paralyzed into inaction because they don’t know “how” to do something, so they abort the mission altogether.
The only difference between people who are both successful and have attained great happiness is they never stopped believing that they were worthy of greatness. The lack of “knowing” did not stop them.
They pushed through, asked more questions, risked vulnerability, and partnered with others. They were determined to experience something only a few do. They believed they were worth it.
The only difference between them and you is mindset.
My Challenge to You:
Take the time to answer the question, “If you could do anything, with no restrictions, what would you do?”
You will be tempted to edit your answer because of stories you will tell yourself: “It is not realistic, I don’t have the resources for that, I am too old, I am not smart enough… ” The list goes on and on. Stop yourself and dream anyway. Write it down.
Now, what are you willing to do to make it happen? Remember, “If you want something different, you need to do something different.”
Great leadership starts with self-leadership. It is you who will pave the way for change and greatness. Take one small step each day, or week, towards your goal. Believe in yourself and all that you have to give.
You are worthy of greatness.
I have helped many people shift their mindset and create a life in which their skills, inherent talents, and happiness are aligned. If you are ready, let me know. Believe me, anything is possible - you just need to want it more than your fear of failure will allow.