The Power of Strategic Restraint

Years ago, I made a very smart move — I declined a promotion.

Yes, the salary would have been higher.The title was impressive.The leaders I’d work with? Exceptional.

And yet… I knew I’d be bored.

That role would have pulled me away from my inherent strengths. I would’ve been busy — productive even — but disconnected from the work that excites me. 

Busy and bored is a dangerous combination.

One of the most important elements of great leadership is knowing your sweet spot.Knowing yourself well enough to resist the pull of the ladder, simply because it’s there.

It’s easy to get pulled off track — to manage, fix, and do all the things just to keep things moving. Before you know it, you’re no longer orchestrating or guiding your organization toward its North Star. You’re head down, wading through the weeds. Busy… and bored.

Andy Stanley talks about this beautifully when he says leaders should focus on “only doing what only you can do.” And doing as few of those things as possible.

When leaders jump into everything — saying yes, rescuing, shepherding every detail — they unknowingly give up the opportunity to inspire vision and develop others.

Leadership isn’t about doing more.It’s about creating the conditions for others to rise.

This requires restraint.

Trust.

And the courage to delegate, support, and let go.

We often confuse busy with valuable.

Let me stop you right there.

Busy is just busy.Valuable is doing what only you can do.

It’s having the discipline to hold yourself accountable to your strengths — to invest your time and energy where the return is highest for the organization and the people within it.

How to break the cycle: 

1. Get radically clear on what only you can do.Protect that space. Be uncompromising with your time and unapologetic with your energy. When you elevate yourself, you elevate everyone around you. Challenge your need to participate in everything. How might others perceive this? Do you not trust them? Are you micromanaging?

2. Use accountability wisely.Invite an assistant, colleague, or trusted partner to hold you accountable and ask: 

• If I am adding this, what will I remove?

• Is there someone else who could attend this meeting or participate in this project?

• Could you vet this first and bring me in later if needed?

• Do I need to do it or just advise?

  
  

Many leaders carry an old story that says, “If I’m not at every table, I’m not adding value.”That story is outdated — and untrue.

Real value comes from clarity.

From knowing where your energy matters most.

From creating space to think, imagine, create, and inspire.

That’s where transformation happens.

So get out of your own way.

Get honest about what brings you joy and where your strengths truly lie.

Then simplify, focus, and lead.