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  • Writer's pictureShandy Welch

You Are Worthy

We have reviewed several of the Positive Intelligence saboteurs and now...The Hyperachiever is here!! I would imagine that most, if not all of you have some elements of this saboteur, it is the characteristic that fuels our achievements and helps drive success. We use this trait to facilitate growth in ourselves and others and it keeps our eye focused on our aspirations. All great things.

Sometimes we use this term to pat ourselves on the back, when we go beyond the call of duty and out perform everyone. But what if this perspective dominates your life?

The quiet whisper in your ear says you are not worthy or valued unless you are constantly achieving.

A new plaque on the wall for everyone to see, a prestigious degree, a new job title, promotion, the list goes on and on. It never feels like enough, as if your need to prove your worth will never be satiated. How are you hoping to make others feel? Intimidated? Impressed? Envious? In awe? What is your motive?

The key to remember is that your accomplishments are impressive and must be celebrated but they don’t and shouldnt define you. It is easy to focus on the accolades and miss the real value… the process of evolving, the knowledge and insights you have acquired, and the leadership you have shown.

Do you ever wonder if your self acceptance or regard from others is conditional and without it, without the titles, you may not be as relevant?

When I am coaching a client it becomes quite clear that the hyper-achiever is getting the best of them when I begin to hear “I will be happy when…” or “I must always be the best at what I do.” These are indications that they see achievement as only coming from an outcome and not the process.

I think about a friend who not only has every degree and certificate she has ever received mounted on her wall, but not a sentence goes by that I don’t hear her alma mater mentioned and her connection to famous people dropped spontaneously into sentences. While these are certainly all great achievements in their own right, their focus and emphasis seems unbalanced. Might I not recognize their brilliance if these elements were not mentioned? Doubtful.

If this resonates with you I would challenge you to think about how you might feel if all of your achievements were taken away. If your connection and influence with others relied solely on empathy, insight, and genuine communication. The veil is lifted and all they can see is you.

My Challenge to You:

  • Self acceptance: Take a moment to feel your accomplishments for what they are. Not compared to anyone else but for the skill you have within you that led to success. Find empathy and compassion for who you are and the inherent talent you hold.

  • Think about the cost (to yourself and others) of constantly wanting and achieving more? When is the point where you are able to stop and celebrate, breathe, and reflect without jumping to the next task?

  • Think about the people who genuinely admire you as a person, is it the degrees and position they admire or the relationship they have with you? My guess, you have already established your worth in their eyes.

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