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Many, many years ago I worked as a personal assistant, I did all sorts of things, one of which was wrapping my bosses’ family’s Christmas presents. I love wrapping, so I would meticulously fold the edges, adjust the tape so it was virtually invisible, and perfectly position the ribbon as a work of art. I remember marveling at my small colorful creations. I would proudly present my art and invariably was met with critiques, re-do’s, suggestions, and comments about how it was not “right”. The ribbon was to be on the side, the bow needed to be doubled, and the box was the wrong shape… the comments never stopped. Yes, we are still talking about Christmas presents. I remember feeling defeated and kept thinking, “if you wanted it done like that why didn’t you tell me, or better yet, do it yourself and save me the time and humiliation?” I felt that I routinely failed in her eyes. Positive Intelligence describes this saboteur as the “Stickler”, it is the perfectionist voice in your head that says “It has to be done this way”, “I can do best”, and “Others' standards are not high enough”. While we all have a bit of the Stickler in us if it gets the best of you it can create anxiety, frustration, an abundance of work, and rigidness. Others may perceive you as highly critical, opinionated, and intense. Is this what you see as success? In Positive Intelligence we talk a lot about self-leadership, awareness, and intentionality. Without those, you naturally respond and think in certain ways, the way that is easy, fast, and “how you always have done it.” If you have noticed your outcomes and/ or relationships are not as you wish, consider spending some time learning how you think, how that perspective serves you, and what is the impact on others. It is with this awareness that you will have the opportunity of CHOICE. If the stickler sounds familiar, listen up. While it is this trait that has partly created your success, it is also the very thing that is causing you anxiety, keeping you up at night, and alienates your team. Your colleagues quickly realized that no matter what they do, it will not be “good enough” and they will stop trying or at least, won’t give 100%. In truth, only about 20% of things need to be done “perfectly”. The other 80% is up for negotiation. So how do you shift this mindset and use the Stickler traits to your advantage? Become aware of what triggers you to double down and at that moment take a moment to reset your mind. Think about the 80/20 rule. Create guardrails so your fear of failure is not guiding criticism. Identify what falls into the 20%, and what are your non-negotiables. Communicating this to your team will reduce your fears. Recognize that other approaches may be just as successful and may in fact teach you something. 4+1=5 and so does 3+2. A different approach, same outcome. When the Stickler takes hold it robs you of your brilliance and shifts relationships toward the negative. The cost of “being right” does not pencil out. My Challenge to You: When you recognize the urge to correct another, micromanage or judge another performance, stop to ask yourself, “does this REALLY matter”? If not, give them and yourself the gift of grace.

A hummingbird flew into our house this weekend, it sought the highest window and kept trying over and over to get through the glass. Despite our encouragement, it was unsuccessful in penetrating the window. Little did it know that if it flew backward (the only bird that can do that) and looked in either direction, there were many open doors and windows beckoning for its release. This small bird was so determined and focused on his goal that he missed the many opportunities around her. Yes, the flight might have been a moment longer and the elevation lower than envisioned, but he would have saved a tremendous amount of energy. Does this sound familiar? We get laser focused and stuck on seeing success as looking only one way that we unknowingly, miss opportunities to collaborate, be creative, or find solutions that are faster and potentially more rewarding. Great self-leadership requires humility, openness, and curiosity. As I said last week: The ability to stay open to everything and attached to nothing. Maybe the trick is to step back just a bit, to detach from the situation enough so that emotions are not driving you and your ego is not limiting your potential. Challenge yourself to take the blinders off and entertain other possibilities. Ahhh, the power of innovation. I have several very successful clients who have begun to clearly see the dysfunction in their organization. While it has always been there, through coaching they are now able to realize and appreciate its detrimental effects. Having insight allows for choice, you are no longer at the effect of the situation, you are an active participant. The next question is, “What role do I wish to play in this relationship?” Would you keep hitting the window now that you know it will not move or are you ready to step back, acknowledge what is, and bravely entertain an alternative? The choice is yours. It is interesting that many people begin justifying and finding reasons why staying in a toxic environment is their only option. (think of the hummingbird and the window) But what if, you really felt you had a choice? You recognized your worthiness and skills and believed, despite the fear of change, that there was another option or opportunity available. Can you step back from the emotion and see beyond your fear? Begin by having the courage to see what else is out there. What other opportunities might exist? You approach this without judgment or commitment to anything, just explore and become curious. It is amazing what happens when you realize you have options… options allow for choice and choice allows for alignment of your vision, skill, and passion. We see only what we choose to see, if you are only focused on the outcome you may come across a lot of windows. Step back and allow your curiosity to take hold. The open door is just around the corner. And yes… the hummingbird made it out alive! A wise bird she was. A fun fact from Audubon: Hummingbirds “can fly straight up and down. Backwards and forwards. Or upside down. And up to 75 miles an hour. But don’t worry, it won’t run into you. This bird can slow down from 25 miles an hour to a dead stop in a space no longer than your index finger.”

Through the journey of great leadership, you will quickly find that learning the art of negotiation is non-negotiable. Anytime there is a conversation where one party wants something, it is a negotiation. Sometimes they are big, sometimes small, sometimes obvious, and many times subtle. One of my favorite podcasts and negotiators is Kwame Christian, in his latest episode with Lucia Kanter St. Amour they discuss how to best negotiate with a bully. Interestingly, this topic has come up a lot with my clients. Strong opinions, power plays, gender differences, and cultural norms create a powder keg for bulling and are ripe for tactful negotiation. Bullying is obvious in elementary schools but as we age, the tactics are subtle, sometimes unconscious, but no less damaging and undermining. You may feel shame and confusion as the tables are slowly flipped against you, and you may question your reality since “bullying doesn’t happen in a professional environment.” I am here to tell you it does and now is the time to learn some negotiation skills. Lucia has some suggestions as to how to approach “high conflict personalities”: “Build a rapport”, instinctively we want to push back and defend ourselves, but try leaning into the other person, with empathy, listening, and curiosity. Attempt to understand their fear or desires. This tactic will catch them off guard since they are conditioned for a fight. As I say, “it is hard to punch the air and win”. “Ignore them”- behaviorist note that the most effective way to extinguish a bully is by ignoring them. Remember, their tactical platform is to create conflict and high emotion, it is from this place that they assume power and control. If you don’t engage they can not fight or threaten. Think what happens when you play tug-of-war and your opponent lets go… “Avoid giving in, bullies don’t negotiate they make demands”. People that seek conflict are more interested in domination and confrontation than they are in the topic. It is the pursuit of intimidation and power that drives them, not the ideas or position. Bullies thrive in conflict, you are just an optimal target in their playground. If you feel strongly about your position stand firm and with confidence. “Know your bottom line...know when no deal is better than a bad deal and, when to walk away” Negotiation and conversation are always a give and take, be very clear as to what you are willing to give up and what you are not. When interacting with a bully, emotions are high, it is easy to push that line and sacrifice your integrity, and become “manipulated into concessions” you later regret. Prior to engaging, find clarity around what is most important to you or the team it is from here that your confidence will grow. Bullies bank on your waffling and lack of concise thought. Beat them at their own game. “Be calm and patient”, high conflict people work off of emotion and rely on their intimidation to force resolution. Be patient and calm. Do not match their energy or emotion. Drag out the conversation and slow the momentum. This in itself will dissatisfy their need to rumble and may diffuse the situation. “Bring in a neutral decision maker or mediator”. This idea may be met with opposition since they will no longer be the most powerful person in the room, the mediator is emotionally neutral and can’t be intimidated or influenced. The scariest threat for a conflict seeker. Finally, if you have tried all of these without success Lucia suggests “prepare for war or walk away.” This is really hard and it becomes clear that the culture of the situation does not support reconciliation and unfortunately, supports bad behavior. The question is, how do you want to fit into that? What is this worth and how much is this costing you? Things to Consider: Are you aware of subtle signs of high conflict personalities? If so, can you implement some of these strategies now, before the emotions rise? What is your responsibility to speak up and protect and support others who are feeling the wrath of this behavior? It is certainly easier to watch but isn’t that tacit agreement? Are you part of the problem or part of the solution?

If you haven’t seen it, go! It is fun to be back in the theater and relive the movie of 30 years ago. Much of this film is based on true events, one of which is Commander Becky Dowling Calder, the first female pilot to graduate from Top Gun in 2000, In this interview, she discusses how the Navy capitalizes on the talent and wisdom of Top Gun pilots to train and support other Navy Pilots. The expectation of Top Gun graduates is to teach others, many times this means training F18 squadrons that are older and have more years of experience. It is easy to imagine how tactical training could get lost in the hierarchy, ego, and gender differences. Commander Dowling Calder makes a great point, the Navy and Top Gun are dedicated to excellence, leadership, and mentorship, and “the jet does not care about your gender.” The only goal and focus are to be the best, continue to learn, and safely complete your mission in support of the Navy. I work with many clients who are dedicated to their organization and team, but at the end of the day, if they are being honest, are in it for themselves, for their advancement, for their ego, and for their personal gain. I wonder how that translates to the team? Knowing you will be dropped and left if the promotion is offered. Where do loyalty and commitment to the team as a whole come into play? Can we have both? For most of my career, I worked for a large organization and as I “climbed the ranks” one thing became very evident, most people were jockeying for positions, vying for the next title, and seemingly less interested in the wake they left behind. The “team” clearly felt like a stepping stone for their advancement. Honestly, I felt myself and other team members retreat and disengage. Many of the executive leaders were only focused forward looking for the next promotion and gold star. The focus was not the work but what the work could get them. Respect and trust quickly diminished. Are you and your team spiraling up or down? This very issue is tackled by Patrick Lencioni as he is interviewed by Andy Stanley in a discussion titled: The Motivation of a Leader. Lencioni, who wrote The Motive, puts a fine point on the importance of clarifying WHY you want to be a leader. Is it the title, the money, the notoriety or, is it the drive to serve others and be a part of something bigger than yourself. To mentor and pull out the best in others? Great leadership is having the inherent skill of seeing where the puzzle pieces belong and allowing the picture to emerge as a collective, it is not doing the puzzle yourself. Advancement is a natural and exciting goal, but how do we harness and retain the wisdom and learnings and use this to engage, challenge, and unite the whole team so both the team and the work are elevated? It seems that Top Gun and the Navy have figured this out. They have created a loop of knowledge and insight which is quickly re-invested into the team. An upward spiral of growth and development. You don’t rise unless others do as well. Remember, your success is intimately tied to others’ support and collective wisdom, if you leave them behind you will never recognize your potential. As a leader, you not only have an opportunity to live this concept but also impact it. If you think of individuals as data points that hold wisdom but there is no connection or integration of that data, it is useless in terms of developing institutional insights but, if you harness these data points (people) and organize their wisdom through storytelling, mentoring, and teaching you to develop a collective intelligence which serves not only the individual but the team and the organization. My Challenge to You How are you approaching your own advancement and the advancement of others? Is your team being left behind? How is institutional knowledge being transferred and retained for the betterment of the organization? How are you capturing knowledge? What opportunities do people have to teach others and share their strengths and insights?

I choose to believe that you are not a product of your circumstances. You have the ability to do and be whatever and whomever you wish. The pivotal moment is when we choose to look beyond our past, beyond the conversations, difficulties, assumptions, and our own fears. To believe that you are destined to be more than the obvious and easy and have the opportunity to give of yourself for the betterment of others. No one person will take this leap for you but many will be there to support you… It is this that will set you apart. We can choose to be resigned to others’ wishes and beliefs or we can choose the path of humility and partner with people that see our greatness and potential. Each choice you make and the thought you have creates this intentionality. Ultimately, this is a race of one. If you don’t seize the opportunity, push beyond, or strive for greatness nobody will lose sleep.. except you. It is free will, if you want recognition, accomplishment, or success, it needs to be harnessed and driven by your own desires. yes, it takes a village but you need to start the community. Intentionality, laser focus, grit, and resilience are the only things that will launch you. You must seek clarity, enlightenment, and connection more than safety and mediocrity. There are many who will support your path, guide your vision and hold you accountable, but only if you willingly take the first step. The only difference between you and the other person is clarity and drive. Become clear as to what you want and what you are willing to do to get there. Acknowledge the sacrifices and gains, solidify the “why” and challenge your thinking. Extrinsic motivators are short-lived, it is the intrinsic motivators that will sustain you. Knowledge, connection, and service are yours and yours alone. They will become part of your story and foundation for success. We never wake up with the wish to be mediocre, yes, many of us find ourselves in that space but I would argue it is you that settles for “good enough”. Identify the things that fuel you and spark your fire, then filter out what no longer sustains your excitement and potential. Hold tight to your vision, get clear, and focus. My Challenge to You: How about this week you think about what would be possible if there were no constraints, judgments, or second thoughts? Who could you be and what could you do if you believed anything was possible? I would love to hear what you come up with…

Executional leadership is defined as “having a strategic mindset and the leadership skills to perform a function, implement a process or execute a project.” Execution leadership focuses on the skill set and fundamental steps to take you and your team from A to B. This is helpful but what if your team or colleague is not mentally in the space to accept a radically different direction for the team? In that case, strategizing how to get from A to B is futile. My experience in creating teams and developing buy-in for change requires two things before execution. 1. Awareness: If you can assume everyone is interested in success and moving towards progress why do we encounter pushback? It is because we have not considered the other’s perspective, their challenges, and the lens through which they see the change. As the leader, we are so focused on the result that we miss the obstacles along the way, the very obstacles that consume our colleague’s time. You are presenting an idea, the “why” in the conversation although your team is only able to see the “how”. How it will not work, how it will add work, and how they don’t have the resources for success. The natural reaction at this time is to shut down the entire idea. We get so paralyzed with the “how” that we can’t see the “what/ why”, subsequently, the entire idea is dead. Take a step back and slow down. Take a moment to solidify why this is important, what impact the change may have and how unity around the concept can create partnership and energy. 2. Break-it-down: This separation of the “why“ and the “how” allows for buy-in, excitement, and creativity. These are two different discussions and require their individual time. Most people unconsciously lump them together and run the other way since the process of making change is daunting. It is your job to separate these two concepts and introduce them individually. Start the conversation by finding a common area of agreement and vision. Keep adjusting this starting point until everyone is leaning in and wanting more. Most people facing change will have a very hard time not introducing “how” this idea won’t work. Keep bringing them back to the “why” and resist the urge to problem-solve. Sometimes it is helpful to say, “pretend we had all of the resources in the world, all the people, all the money, all the time… how would you approach this situation?” This shifts the thinking from scarcity to creativity. Once you have established a starting point with a clear vision of success, now begin to entertain ideas by asking what barriers this idea will encounter. Ask a lot of questions without judgment or debate, your goal is to capture the fears, obstacles, and perceived limitations. Remember, you have already shifted to positive energy, given you have previously established excitement and desire, your team is invested in how they can make this work as opposed to why it can’t. That in itself is a dramatically different starting point. Time and time again, I have seen great ideas stop in their tracks because of perceived barriers to success. The sense of “execution overwhelm” trumps any great idea. As a leader it is your job to ask questions, become aware of each team member’s perspective and limitations, and break down the process into manageable pieces. Here is an example. In an effort to improve efficiency and communication, you propose partnering the executives with their own assistants. You believe this consistent relationship will improve the workflow and decrease turnover. As you present this idea, the team quickly shuts you down because they have a staff shortage and no budget to support three new hires. Do you see how they skipped right over the benefits and dug their heels into all the reasons it would not work? Bring them back to the “why”. Can we agree that high turnover impacts morale and costs a lot of money in recruiting and training? (yes) Do you think that strong 1:1 relationships would improve throughput and consistency of work? (yes) Could investing in the culture of our team build a stronger product and improved commitment? (yes) Let this idea sit, and let people brainstorm about the possibilities of teams and partnering together. This will create excitement and drive which lessens the negativity. Next: Ask what is the fear around this proposal and how can we creatively tackle barriers. Can we leverage other employees? Can we capitalize on the saved recruiting and training costs? Can we start slowly and add as we go? Really listen to people’s fears and hesitations. Many times the leader will have to circle back to the original agreed-upon purpose. A work process as described takes time for the team to digest, move slowly, and resist the urge to tell them what to do. Create trust and flexibility with timelines and open dialogue. If people feel heard and supported they will try just about anything.

In January I wrote about the importance of mental flexibility and learning to adjust, adapt, and mold to the culture, environments, and needs of your team. How about we take this to the next level? Traditionally we have developed job roles and responsibilities and then hired individuals to fit into those walls. What if this concept was turned on its head? What if we hired great people with a variety of inherent skills, passions, and drive, and then delineated responsibilities that capitalized on those strengths? This requires looking at projects as a whole and not siloed parts. Now stay with me for a moment. Patrick Lencioni’s work around Working Genius is well... genius! He has simplified our inherent “geniuses” into 6 areas: Wonder, Invention, Discernment,, Galvalizing, Enablement, and Tenacity. The thought is that if we can develop teams that represent each one of these areas and simultaneously invite individuals to participate and work within their area of natural strength not only will the team thrive but also improve productivity and individual satisfaction. The goal is to have each piece of the inherent genius pie represented on every project/ team. These geniuses also work in an organized systematic way through innovation and the creation of a project. For example, before nailing down the details of implementation (tenacity) it is important to brainstorm all potential opportunities and ideas (wonder). Here is an overview of the six working geniuses: Imagine the confines of a job description were wiped away and you could pull in the people who were brilliant at conceptualizing innovation to brainstorm together. Imagine if you hired your next employee based on your team's need to leverage natural talent. You would work from a platform and vocabulary which pull people together and clarify where in the process you are and which talents you need to highlight for success. Having a common language is crucial on many fronts but what is brilliant about this concept is that it brings clarity to the conversation. Someone who has a working genius of tenacity may be in a brainstorming session and feel anxious since they are further down the line and thinking about resources, how they will complete the task, deadlines, detail ect. In this scenario, you have the opportunity to clarify where in the process you are and what genius is needed at this time (wonder and or Invention). The Working Genius has a quick assessment your team can take to identify and describe your natural skills. Your team can then use this as a working tool to capitalize on strengths and leverage learnings. I am consistently amazed at how many talents go unrecognized. As a leader, it is your job to know your team and position people in a way that not only utilizes geniuses but catapults your business toward success. How do you think it would feel if you could say to your colleague “Sarah, would you join us at this next meeting, I know your working genius is that of galvanizing and we are struggling to get this project off the ground and we would love to utilize your wisdom and energy.” Sarah will not only feel acknowledged, appreciated, and valued, but she will undoubtedly rise to the occasion and surpass your expectations. Home run! Why are we limiting talent to a job description? Your team has so much more to offer if you can let up on the reigns and create some flexibility within your team. My Challenge to You: Listen to this short podcast by Patrick Lencioni, if you were not convinced you will be. Try it, take the assessment here, and commit to learning more about your team and what brilliance lies beneath or behind the job description. Ask yourself, where do you feel like a dog on a bone? What tasks or projects get you fired up and excited to do more? This is your area of working genius!

Are you a visionary leader? I listened to a phenomenal episode of Wisdom from the Top where Morten Hansen was interviewed about what attributes top performers have in common. This episode has so many phenomenal takeaways but one that stood out was around visionary leaders and the qualities that make them successful. Typically we think about visionary leadership as a person who holds the vision for the company, and drives everyone to the common goal. Anticipating the trends and forecasting the next move. All of those are correct. Some people do this more naturally than others and might find “futuristic” a top strength in the StrengthFinder Assessment, or if you are familiar with Lencioni’s work around Working Genius, they would trend towards “invention” or “wonder”. All of these unique qualities drive teams towards future success. Here is another spin on the same idea. Hansen, a management consultant, and researcher looked at some of the most influential leaders and found that they not only were traditional visionaries but they also capitalized on others’ brilliance. They were continually collaborating, observing, asking questions, and harnessing ideas from other leaders. Great leadership is tactfully piecing together the puzzle of brilliance rather than reinventing it once again. As an example, Hansen cited Herb Kelleher, the former CEO of Southwest Airlines, consequentially, one of the few airlines who has consistently done well over the last 40 years. Kelleher was a traditional visionary but he also learned and observed from others, specifically Pacific Southwest Airlines (PSA). PSA at the time was a small west coast airline that was short on cash so cut its turnaround time to 10 minutes, the average was 50 minutes. Kelleher harnessed that idea and integrated it into his own fleet. It was small changes that he learned from other airlines and industries which has made Southwest one of the most successful airlines. Leaders have the responsibility of not only holding the vision but also networking, connecting with, and observing others’ great ideas and turning them into their team's future. It is you who holds the stated vision as well as the formulation of the next best thing. Going at it alone is not required or expected. Tap into the wisdom of others, network with other greats in your field, and seek out mentors, coaches, and advisors who can light your fire, and introduce you to new and dynamic ways of thinking. Become a dual- visionary, one who holds the vision and seeks out the next best thing by partnering with others and harnessing the expertise around you. My Challenge to You: How do you push yourself to think beyond the stated vision? Who can you connect with to learn more and be challenged more deeply? If being a visionary is not your natural unique talent, who can you partner with in an effort to capitalize on this skill? Who would benefit from a leadership mastermind? How about forwarding the link? If you want great leaders it is important to offer opportunities to succeed. Thank you!

We have all watched a spacecraft being launched into orbit. Exciting times to say the least, after exploration in space the normalcy settles and calm resides. Just as we relax, preparation for reentry begins. If you are not careful, re-entry can be disastrous. How to successfully navigate corporate reentry maybe your current focus. If it is not, you may want to think again. As a leader, it is your job to be looking forward not down. Similar to soccer, look where you want the ball to go, not where it is. COVID challenged us all in many ways and it is you who will pull your team together and determine if the last 24 months were an opportunity for growth and innovation or if everyone just licks their wounds and avoids the pain. I am sure you are tired but it is now that people are looking for direction, clarity, and vision. More than ever, you are holding the keys to the future state of your team. More than once I have heard leaders lament the fact that they and everyone are tired, understaffed, and depleted. They use those words to set the tone of meetings and reasoning for why progress is not being made. Can you imagine how that feels to your colleagues? As a spacecraft returns to earth, they say “reentering earth is all about attitude control”. While this phrase refers to something different it is a great reminder that reentry is not all about technique and process. Attitude is what drives success. The shifting climate requires honest dialogue. Discuss how people are feeling, identify barriers as they arise, and capitalize on learnings. Paint a picture of hope. Acknowledge the difficult times but simultaneously highlight the future state and your drive and support for excellence. Admit what you don’t know but don’t use that as an excuse not to move forward. COVID can no longer be the excuse for low staff, poor retention, and missed targets. I would argue these things are now a result of a lack of creativity, innovation, and leadership. Have you stayed nimble and flexible enough throughout the process to adapt to change? Have you integrated technology in ways that created a culture of learning and connection? Have you harnessed the creative possibilities that others have offered? Are you open to change and adaptability? If you have said “yes” to these questions, you are most likely in the camp of organizations that have survived and even thrived during this time. It is these characteristics that will serve your company and your leadership. My Challenge to You: Recognizing this phase requires new skills. Empower yourself with the support of colleagues, trusted advisors, a coach, or a mastermind group. Enlist the wisdom of others to find success. Attitude adjustment. If you find yourself making excuses ask yourself what is behind the attitude. Fear, exhaustion, lack of creativity? Hone in on what is driving the comment and tackle that first. Come out from behind the desk. Your team needs you, your physicality, your voice, and your presence. Become visible and become part of the team. This small act will speak wonders.

Mastering the hybrid meeting is non-negotiable. It may not seem exciting but it is clear, if you don’t prioritize this skill, you will be left behind… Don’t let others be your failure. While I agree that challenges have been abundant, so have opportunities. We have forced technology to work in new ways, we have felt the disconnection of teams, we have challenged each other to be creative, and we have found new ways to solve problems, The next challenge, or maybe the biggest of them all is to not slip back into the “old ways”, to see the past few years as only a temporary fix until things “get back to normal.” I am here to tell you, this is the new normal and people are ready to make the adjustments permanent and expect their leaders to refine the details so communication and connection continue to improve. Working remotely is now preferred and despite the concern, research has shown that it is not only as profitable but actually leads to higher satisfaction, productivity, and increased retention IF led and managed well. So how do you do this well? In this recent episode of Coaching for Leaders, Dave interviews Tsedal Neeley who is an expert in teaching leaders to implement and scale their digital strategies. Specifically, how to effectively engage hybrid teams to improve engagement, profitability, and collaboration. Many struggle with how to create connection and trust within a team when most everyone is virtual. One of Tsedal suggestions is to integrate “structured unstructured time”. This is 5-10 minutes before each meeting in which participants are encouraged to share non-work information. Think of it as a virtual water cooler conversation. Allow people to open the doors into their personal lives (within reason). While this may initially seem like a waste of time, it is not. At the end of the day what most people want is to feel appreciated, valued, and seen. It is within this unstructured time that these elements come to the forefront. As the leader it is very important that you lead the way, you may be surprised how allowing your vulnerabilities to show will not only humanize you but will give permission to others to do the same. This creates humanness to the meeting and a deeper connection to work and colleagues. In a related episode, Dave interviews Hassan Osman where they talk about developing practices and policies around hybrid meetings in an effort to build inclusivity, consistency, and connection. The key to this strategy is to make sure that all participants, regardless of where they physically reside (virtually or in the office) have the same experience. In hybrid meetings, the virtual participants many times are/ or feel excluded from the conversation, miss the unspoken communication, and miss the nuances of the meeting. Leaving them feeling like outliers. Hassan has a few suggestions for this: Be intentional and rigorous in your efforts to create a shared experience. Openly talk about what is working and what is not. Brainstorm solutions together. Invest in a virtual whiteboard so all writings are experienced the same way. Here are some links to explore more. It is these small investments that draw attention to the collective and shows you are invested in everyone’s experience. Ask everyone to turn on their camera and use the “buddy system” which connects an in-person participant with a virtual one. This partnership allows the dissemination of unspoken information and allows the virtual person to have a more active voice in the meeting. Transform your meeting space into a “smart room” with appropriate technology and software. Look at your physical space. Is it set up “the old way” with the screen at the end and a round table? This does not allow for good visuals or connections. Try having all participants (virtual or physical) on a laptop, this way the playing field is leveled and all have the same experience. Here is a great article walking you through how and why to make this conversion. There is so much more to this conversation but these ideas should get you going. Investing some time and energy into creating a great hybrid experience will undoubtedly pay off. Dig in and spend some time with the platform you use to capitalize on its capabilities. My Challenge to You: What is the one thing you can do today to elevate your hybrid experience? Who on your team could you send this to ensure you are using and have the right technology available? Begin the conversation now. ​

One can only hope that as we get older we get wiser, we focus on what really matters, and spend time learning, questioning, and challenging our thoughts and beliefs. Taking the wisdom of age and weaving that into an experience can be quite profound and powerful. As we navigate our lives and integrate our vision and goals into life decisions we are often faced with difficult situations. How can we become comfortable with uncertainty and shift into seeing the challenge as an opportunity? I am a great believer that the opportunity is within us if we only give ourselves time and patience to listen. Decision-making and perspective become clouded by others’ expectations, emotions, vulnerability, perspective, and the list goes on. Many times we know the right answer or approach but we hesitate and fear pushes us in another direction. What if you allow the silence to come in and sit with the uncertainty so your voice can be heard? Push fear aside, surrender to the silence, to the inner voice, and believe in the process. The discovery is in the letting go of the "what if's", the "shoulds", the expectations, and the worry. Just sit and feel calm, give in to the fear, and surrender.... believe. You will be OK. You don’t need to act upon anything just acknowledge that there is something else to consider. Many times we are so focused on the crisis or solution to the problem that we do not realize the possibility. Seven years ago I was diagnosed with breast cancer. A scenario I never expected. I was young, healthy, and had very few risk factors yet, there it was. The opportunity of choice was paramount. How will I look at this experience, how will I use this moment to shape my life and how might I use this as an opportunity to make an impact? Don't fight it and ask "why me", ask “what can I do to elevate myself to meet this experience?” Yes, there was fear and disappointment but the real question was, do I choose to grow from this experience and surrender to the process, or do I resist and fight? Do I have the strength to allow cancer to be the teacher? I find we spend so much time trying to mold life into a plan like a ball of dough, grimacing under the pressure but confident that if we just push harder and twist further perfection will emerge. I have come to find that this is the more difficult approach. Plan as much as you want but rarely do the cards fall as imagined. What if you could have the confidence and faith to believe that you are part of something bigger? That these experiences or barriers to our self-proposed goal are trying to tell us something? Maybe the mishap IS the plan. My Challenge to You: What current situation do you only see as negative? Are you able to change your perspective and see other possibilities? How does yur preconceived approach affecting the outcome? Take a look at the work of Shirzde Chamine who founded Positive Intelligence, it is this approach and mindset which has the opportunity to amplify your success, relationships, and happiness.

Leadership is difficult, it does not contain a row of checkboxes that signifies a job complete. Great leadership is not management. It is a role of perspective, inspiration, vision, and curiosity. It is asking others what motivates them and opening the doors so they can walk through and succeed. The last few years have proven challenging for many leaders since it has lacked predictability and a clear vision. I have seen many leaders move (slip) back into the management role. They have become task-driven, directive, and project-based. While this has been important work, balancing leadership and management has left many feeling overworked and frenzied. No longer is there a clear line or image of leadership. This in itself degrades the culture and leads to a lack of clarity. So how do you lead well in the midst of disruption? Andy Stanley has a two-part podcast (only 20 minutes each) that beautifully illustrates the fundamentals. “Your voice is more important than your words.” At times of chaos, your team craves connection. Hearing your voice and seeing your face sends a message of unity and purpose. It may be tempting to withdraw into your office and avoid the crowd since many answers are unknown but this is the opposite of what is needed. People are feeling concerned and disjointed and are looking to you to bring safety to the situation. You can not over communicate in these situations. Leading at these times is what you have worked for, this is leadership at its best. Discomfort is part of the game and normal. Having some trusted colleagues and partners to bounce ideas off of and hold you accountable may be worth investing in. “Your presence is more important than your presentation.” It is easy to forget the position you hold, the expectation others have of you, and how you are perceived. Most leaders have an element of perfectionism in them. They work hard to present a polished presentation or a well-crafted speech, but that takes time, and time may not be something you have in the midst of chaos. Stanley argues that something is better than nothing. Remember, you don’t need to know all of the answers. What is more important is showing up, communicating with humility, your commitment to progress, exploration, and communication. Lead by example, now is your time. “Clarity is the next best thing to certainty.” At times of disruption there is no certainty but you can provide clarity of information. It is the withholding of information that creates panic, uncertainty, and distrust, not the information itself. When we under-communicate others have the natural tendency to assume and fill in the blanks with misinformation. The way to avoid this is to provide clarity on what you know and honestly discuss what you don’t. This humility and humanity is what will be perceived as great leadership. Stanley gives his three principles of clarity: “be honest, don’t pretend, and don’t exaggerate.” This is so simple but many times so difficult since we assume people want us to provide answers and solutions but, what they really need is information so they can make decisions and plan for the future. Don’t give up hope but at the same time address the current state in an honest and thoughtful way. To conclude, Jim Collins in Good to Great asked Vice Admiral Jim Stockdale to reflect on his survival after 7 years as a prisoner of war, Stockdale said, “you must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts about your current reality whatever they might be.” Maybe this is a definition of grit? My Challenge to You: Enlist an “accountability buddy”, this person will act as a sounding board and hold you accountable for showing up as you promise and honestly confront your challenges even when your urge is to run! Is there something that you have not communicated to your team until you have more information? What if you discussed it now? Yes, it is incomplete but what opportunity are you missing by withholding information? Practice being human and not having all of the answers. Believe in your team and show vulnerability yet hold the hope for the future. Listen to Andy Stanley’s two episodes here: Leading in Times of Disruption Part 1 & Leading in Times of Disruption Part 2​