I love the phrase:
“We manage the way we like to be managed.”
It’s a simple statement, but it opens up significant implications when you consider how it affects your relationships and team. Unfortunately, your team is not composed of versions of yourself! Therefore, if you want a dynamic, trusting, and collaborative team, you must learn how each member likes to be managed, how they prefer to communicate, and which strategies resonate with and motivate them.
There are many great tools to learn about your team members, such as the Enneagram, Positive Intelligence (PI), Working Genius, and most recently, Kathleen Edelman’s work on “temperament.” Kathleen was interviewed by Andy Stanley and they explore these conepts in depth.
Understanding your own and others’ temperaments allows you to use specific words and insights to have more meaningful and impactful conversations.
Andy Stanley interviews Kathleen Edelman in a recent podcast where she outlines four distinct colors that correspond to specific temperaments. Here are some examples:
Yellow (People and fun): The people-oriented extrovert. These individuals trust others easily, see the best in people, process ideas deeply, talk before they think, and prioritize relationships.
Red (Power and control): Task-oriented extroverts who dive right in to get the job done. They are smart visionaries, dependable decision-makers, but may not always be aware of how they affect others and can be perceived as overbearing. Loyalty is fundamentally important to them.
Blue (Perfection and order): Thoughtful analyzers who prioritize tasks over people. They see barriers to success easily and are typically task-oriented introverts. Blues process internally and may seem negative, but they are uniquely positioned as creative problem-solvers.
Green (Calm and harmony): People-oriented introverts who are great leaders because they prioritize relationships. They stay calm under pressure but may struggle with decision-making or become paralyzed by too many choices. Greens value harmony and need respect; when respected, they work diligently.
The key takeaway is that whether you have qualities of a “red” (temperament), an “avoider” (PI), or a “galvanizer” (Working Genius), there is no right or wrong. All these qualities hold incredible value and merit when understood and used effectively.
Imagine if you knew how your team thought, processed information, and communicated. You could then implement strategies and tools to leverage their strengths instead of merely pushing for results. Your team’s creativity and potential would thrive!
A great example: During a meeting, Sarah listens intently but doesn’t say a word. You might think she isn’t engaged or inspired until you remember that she leans heavily towards “green.”
She is a quiet processor who values respect and lacks a sense of urgency.
Knowing this, you could say, “Sarah, I know you have had great success in this area before, and I’d love to hear your thoughts on how we might approach this situation.”
This single sentence shows your respect for her and creates space for her to share the ideas she has been processing. Without this invitation, she might have left the meeting without sharing her valuable insights.
As a leader, it’s your responsibility to understand the psychology of people. Actively learning how others think and applying strategies to draw out the best in everyone will be pivotal to your success.
My Challenge to You:
If you’re unfamiliar with these concepts or strategies, start learning. Pick one to focus on each month for three months and dig in.
Success will foster urgency and buy-in. Try a new strategy and observe how the team dynamics change. Do people respond differently to you as their leader? Are they more engaged? Can you see the value in this approach?
Bonus points: Have your entire team take an assessment and start a dialogue on how this changes perceptions and interactions.
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